Time for Baby

I don’t know why
I thought to sleep
or

I don’t know why
I thought to sweep
and

I am not sure
When I will eat
or

I am not sure
When I will pee
and

I can’t think when
A movie I’ll see
or

I can’t think when
I’ll put up my feet
for

I forgot how
Much that he needs
and

I forgot how
To have a baby.

raul-angel-mcKqoZh0DkI-unsplash

Photo Credit: Raul Angel

©2020 Chelsea Owens

You Might Have a New Baby If…

You might have a new baby if:

  • Every room has decorative accents of burp cloths, diaper supplies, and pacifiers.
  • Conversations are held in whispers and gestures.
  • Time becomes “a day without a night and a night without a day.”
    Or, if you’d rather, “a hard day’s night.”
  • Random baby items like socks or Onesies show up in every load of laundry. They’re not always ones you recognize.
  • You call everyone in the family “You” or the baby’s name. Sex doesn’t matter.
  • Sex doesn’t matter.
  • While you’ve worn the same pair of pants for days, the baby ends up ‘wearing’ whatever looks passable by bedtime.
  • Dinner is now served to the hit song “It’s My Evening and I’ll Cry if I Want To.”
  • Holding the baby becomes both a reward and a threat.
  • Everyone’s voice has become higher-pitched, and their words end with “ootchie.”
  • No one seems to mind any of this

filip-mroz-oko_4WnoM98-unsplash

©2020 Chelsea Owens

Photo Credit: Filip Mroz

All They Want for Christmas

The Christmas rush
Makes children flush
Whilst parents hush
The whining.

But stores, meanwhile
Push sale and style
Shoppers, beguiled,
Start signing.

For, though they claim
Their kids, they’ve tamed
Their budget, named
They’re finding

‘Twixt child and store
Both begging, “More,”
For rich or poor:
Resigning.

thandy-yung-eH2RrGhde80-unsplash

Photo Credit: Thandy Yung

 

©2019 Chelsea Owens

Accurate Parenting Haiku

Soft and searching hands
Wish for their mother’s embrace
Or, the treat she eats.

Pitter, patter, KICK
Say the feet of the brothers
Right after, “I’m sorry.”

Midnight’s calm respite
Awaits those who claim its call
Unless you’re parents.

austin-pacheco-FtL07GM9Q7Y-unsplash

©2019 Chelsea Owens