“I can’t say I’m an inspirational mother. Instead of wise aphorisms or encouragements, my children will remember things like ‘I’m not an octopus,’ and, ‘Your brother’s head is not a weapon.'”

-Chel Owens

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“They say to never cry over spilt milk. Well, whoever said that clearly never cleaned up after children.”

-Chel Owens

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“Life, as a parent, is not like a box of chocolates or a bed of roses -unless every chocolate has tiny bites out of it and the roses have died and their petals are all over the floor.”

-Chel Owens

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“I had one life goal: to grow up and never do chores again. …I’m still holding out for this one.”

-Chel Owens

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“Don’t sweat the small stuff; like socks, crumbs, or bath night. Sweat the big stuff, like running out of chocolate.”

-Chel Owens

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