Did You Go Swimming Today? and Other Post-Delivery Fallacies

Hi, Mom.

“Hi, honey! Were you sleeping?”

No… (I was. I try to sound perkier.) What’s up?

“Oh! I’m at Wal-mart, and all their Christmas stuff’s 75% off!”

That’s great… but I’m not schlepping around yet.

“Oh… okay. I just thought you’d want to know.”

Okay. (I try to sound grateful and happy.) Thanks for telling me…

My mother’s a great person. I’m indebted to her for everything, beginning with the gift of life. However, I’ve noticed she’s not really aware of what I’m experiencing this time around the pregnancy and recovery loop. That exchange is just one example; though, to be fair, she called around 10 a.m. and not earlier. Odds are I was probably awake. She just happened to forget that I couldn’t go shopping yet since I’m STILL HEALING from a C-Section.

She’s not the only one, either.

A neighbor of mine asked if I was going to attend a Christmas choir concert about a week after I’d delivered. I responded:

No, Carol*. C-Section.

Just today, my husband took the other boys to a swimming pool with their grandparents. A friend texted, asking if I was going. As in, asking if I were swimming.

No, I can’t.

*Not supposed to?*

No, and don’t feel like it.

That’s the beauty of the C-Section recovery, I suppose: while I’m not allowed to do certain activities, I also don’t FEEL up to them. Heavy-lifting? Too tired and weak. Picking that diaper up off the ground? My sore stomach region says, “No bending.” Swimming at a pool? Can’t fit into a suit.

It’s not just me recovering, either.

“Hey, Mom!” (It’s my son that loves fun, just before going to the pool.) “D’ya want me to get the car seat?”

The baby’s not going to the pool.

“Why not? He has a suit.”

(I smile.) That won’t fit him quite yet. Also, he’s too little and would get too cold right now.


Maybe by the time summer comes around, both the baby and I will be up for more. We’ll at least both fit into our swimsuits by then.


*Name changed

Photo Credit: Lubomirkin

©2020 Chelsea Owens

12 thoughts on “Did You Go Swimming Today? and Other Post-Delivery Fallacies

  1. I was joking about this the other day. When I had my first – woah! the attention, the gifts, the help, the understanding – it was all SO much. It was all too much, really for just one kid. And with each child ALL OF THAT slowly disappeared. It was with the third baby I could have use the help the most – help with the older ones, or help with the baby while I dealt with the toddlers. But, no one was there. Take your time and hope you feel better soon!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. An excellent observation! You’re absolutely right! I will say that I got a lot more STUFF this time around, because there’s a six year gap and I’d given it all away. In terms of help, though, not so much. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s weird with the second. I had a friend get really annoyed at me because I couldn’t do as much anymore at my son’s school after I had my daughter. I was severely dizzy and my daughter was up every two hours and she hated her car seat – just hated it and the screaming just mentally broke me. My friend pretty much dropped me and never offered to help and didn’t seem to get I just didn’t have the energy to be who I’d been before. We no longer speak. Go figure. If it has been a csection maybe I would have got sympathy but I doubt it. People truly are clueless unless they’ve been through it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry to hear that! It reminds me of how I feel when I get a cold: suddenly, I am very sympathetic (well, empathetic) to how everyone feels when he’s sick!

      Liked by 1 person

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