Even I’m getting sick of my whining about child-bearing. In order to practice more positive thinking, I decided to look on the bright side of life. Here are my Top Ten Reasons Why Being Pregnant is Awesome:
10. I always have something to complain about.
If I’m sitting in company or just drooling at the kitchen table, I can pipe in with, “Had more heartburn today.” When meeting someone new and answering their, “I didn’t know you were pregnant. So, how do you feel?,” I have a ready-made list of maladies.
9. If I’m looking for social cred, all I need is a pregnancy or birth announcement.
Not that I pay for analytics, but my top posts on TwoFaceBook are announcements of child-bearing and -birthing sorts. Nine months of fun is a low price to pay for artificial popularity, right?
8. I get special treatment whenever I play The Pregnancy Card.
We purchased a used desk when I was just coming off bed rest in June. As I took the stairs one at a time in the woman’s house where we picked it up, I explained about my condition. She wouldn’t even hear of my helping to carry the desk out to the car.
Now if only I could get free food from restaurants for flashing my tummy, I’d be set.
7. I can sleep anywhere, at anytime.
Weeeelll, I actually can’t sleep at bedtime, lying down. Still, it’s a handy skill during school performances and boring conversations. And, because of Reason #8, the person talking doesn’t get offended.
6. I get to wear overlarge, comfortable clothes.
I expect that, by 30 weeks, no one will bat an eye when I walk around in a muumuu.
5. Literally any other woman who’s had a baby wants to give me a hug on a hard day.
One difficult day after dropping my oldest at karate, I drove to the nearest grocery store and miserably shuffled around trying to find an edible food item. I ended up at the deli counter staring morosely at the chicken tenders. After I explained my condition to the older woman working there, she said, “You poor dear. I remember those days!”
Pregnancy is a camaraderie sort of thing.
4. I do not have to diet.
Obviously I should not go overboard and assume that all-you-can-eat applies to every meal, but taking dieting off the table has been wonderful.
3. I do not have to exercise.
Yes, exercise is important. Yes, many women run a marathon whilst expecting. The general rule is to continue at the activity level one was at before impregnation which, for bed rested me, was not much. I’ve been thinking about it as the Couch2Bed Program.
2. I get an easy excuse for anything.
This is pretty much like #8, but applied all across the board. Dropped my glass? Forgot shoes? Late by two hours? Sorry; pregnant.
1. If all goes well, I get a baby at the end.
I’m just going to insert a few, cute stock photos here.
Not everyone can get pregnant, I know. For those who’ve done it and now wonder what they’ve gotten into, I hope I’ve given you a bit to think about besides heartburn as well.
Now, go take that nap. Eat that bag of chips. Forget that train of thought. You’ve got a baby to make!
Sunday, July 28: “Why the Heck Would Anyone Get Pregnant?,” a post discussing the reason for impregnating and birthing.
Monday, July 29: Wrote “Pregnancy Limerick.”
Tuesday, July 30: Shared an inspirational image from Pinterest about motherhood.
Wednesday, July 31: Recommended watering down juices.
Thursday, August 1: “Frugal Decorating,” a snippet about the unintentional side effects of decoration neglect.
Friday, August 2: Thought about life goals and housework in, “The Dishes and Other Evils.”
Saturday, August 3: Shared The Mum Bum‘s tweet about pregnancy.
Sunday, August 4: That’s today!
©2019 Chelsea Owens