“Motherhood has completely changed me. It’s just about like the most completely humbling experience that I’ve ever had. I think that it puts you in your place because it really forces you to address the issues that you claim to believe in and if you can’t stand up to those principles when you’re raising a child, forget it.”
-Diane Keaton
There once was a mother of four
Who never could get out the door.
She’d beg and she’d plead,
She’d jump and she’d scream;
Still shoeless, they’d tell her, “Encore!”
Photo Credit:
frank mckenna
One of the best pieces of advice for parents is to take time for themselves.
I find this especially true for parents of young children. There’s nothing quite like days and nights and in-betweens completely filled with the whims of tiny people. Parenting is a noble business, but that nobility is hard to realize when one is exhausted.
Hence, as I said, the advice to have “me time.” Unfortunately, many parents are blessed with more challenges than others. Those challenges include proximity to decent babysitters, proximity to a money tree to pay for decent babysitters, various behavioral issues that make babysitters unlikely to want to tend, and various behavioral issues that make it so that the parents need to find someone competent to tend.
I’ve heard the advice to use family members, but what if you have none? I’ve heard that “you’ll make time for what’s important” -but that’s why parents spend their paycheck on food, clothing, shelter, and health care.
When, then; how, then are parents to get that sacred time to themselves?
Since I hate to leave anyone hanging, I thought of a few ideas.
That’s all I’ve got for now. If anyone has input as well, I’d love for you to add more suggestions in the comments.
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Here’s what I wrote for the past week:
Sunday, April 21: “Raise Strong, Independent Daughters AND Mothers,” an article suggesting we teach women to be mothers as well as world leaders.
Monday, April 22: Wrote a short poem titled, “Good Morning.”
Tuesday, April 23: Shared a quote by Milton Berle.
Wednesday, April 24: Recommended having options for breakfast.
Thursday, April 25: “Here, Mom,” a quick thought about how often mothers are garbage cans.
Friday, April 26: Talked about kids who don’t like hugs in, “Steal Your Kisses if You Have To.”
Saturday, April 27: Shared Snarky Mommy‘s tweet about how crazy we all are.
Sunday, April 28: That’s today!
Photo Credit:
Dmitry Bayer
Snarky Mommy gives us parents a pretty accurate summary.
My oldest has never been an affectionate child. Just like with pacifiers, bottles, or naps; I tried all the advice people gave me. No matter what, he did not like to be touched when he didn’t want it. It’s been thirteen years and he is still this way.
Naturally, I blame myself. It’s the mother thing to do.
On the flip side, however, my youngest is very affectionate. He literally asks for a hug or kiss or tells me what he is feeling and what he needs. The two are like night and day when it comes to showing love even though I’m fairly certain they came from the same womb.
So what’s a parent to do? Like the old song says, I always have to steal my kisses.
Not that I force myself on him; that would drive him further away. But; I do get in a head rub or a shoulder pat. If I haven’t encroached in his teenage space too badly he’ll even allow a side hug. When he’s had a great day he’ll sometimes be the initiator.
Besides the physical options, there are other ways to show affection. I can get away with notes, cards, presents, special privileges, helping with his chores, doing service, or just listening when he finally talks.
When all is said and done, I also sneak into his room and kiss him when he’s sleeping.
Don’t tell.
Photo Credit:
Image by Adina Voicu from Pixabay
I Didn't Want to Be a Mother 